WTF. What other crucial bits of nature and the world and edible bugs do I not know that I must learn in order to find true happiness? Why has this never been brought to my attention what with all of the people who know my undying love for and borderline religious relationship with bacon????
Anyways, for your viewing pleasure, I've outlined 31 things that, in my humble but expert opinion, that I think every person should know, as follows:
1. Compulsive shopping is a real illness
2. In Mexico they harvest corn that has been infected with fungus, can it and sell it - ever here in the US - it's called Cuitlacoche or Huitlacoche (google it and get ready to vom)
3. If there were no moon Earth would be subject to constant gale force winds
4. No matter who you are or how you drive, chances are I think you are a TERRIBLE driver if I am driving behind you
5.Every man should know how to drive a manual transmission car
6. Wearing headphones for 1 hour will increase bacteria in your ear by 700x
7. The chances of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf are one in 67 million
8. The first subway system in America was built in Boston, Massachusetts in 1897
9. An oyster can change its gender
10. We only dream of people that we have seen before- any of the millions of faces that we have seen since we are born can and will show up in our dreams. You never dream up something that you haven't seen at some point.
11. It is possible for your hair to turn white from shock... but not overnight! Hair pigment is produced in the hair shaft beneath the skin, so it would take about 13 days for any white hairs to show
12. A single hair can support up to 100 grams in weight and a whole head of hair could support up to 12 tonnes - the equivalent of two African elephants!
13. The American Association for Nude Recreation, founded in 1931, says that the nude wedding industry is now worth $440 million a year.
14. Humans are the only mammals whose primary sexual position is face to face with bodies in full contact
15. CraigsList gets more than 20 Billion pageviews a month
16. Humans carry more Bacterial Cells than Human cells...you are more bacteria than you are you.
17. Tiger shark embryos fight each other in their mother's womb, the survivor is then born... I like to think that's how I came into the world too.
18. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
19. Elephant teeth can weight as much as 9 pounds.
20. The pound (#) key is called an octothorp.
21. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines. Great mental image there, folks. Pretty sure my brothers used yo-yos as weapons against me when we were younger, too.
22. Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking Countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang Yourself."
23. More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a French kiss. Ooh, la la.
24. Camels have 3 eyelids.
16. Humans carry more Bacterial Cells than Human cells...you are more bacteria than you are you.
17. Tiger shark embryos fight each other in their mother's womb, the survivor is then born... I like to think that's how I came into the world too.
18. American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
19. Elephant teeth can weight as much as 9 pounds.
20. The pound (#) key is called an octothorp.
21. Yo-Yos were once used as weapons in the Philippines. Great mental image there, folks. Pretty sure my brothers used yo-yos as weapons against me when we were younger, too.
22. Colgate faced a big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking Countries because Colgate translates into the command "go hang Yourself."
23. More than 40,000 parasites and 250 types of bacteria are exchanged during a French kiss. Ooh, la la.
24. Camels have 3 eyelids.
25. On average, you’ll spend a year of your life looking for misplaced objects..unless you're my mom then that number jumps to two
26. The last letter to be added to our alphabet was J (perhaps that's why there is no 'J Street' in South Boston?
27. Mexican jumping beans jump to get out of sunlight.
28. Rinsing bacon under cold water before frying can reduce the amount it shrinks by almost 50 percent
29. Censor for small children: If an average human scrotum were stretched until all its wrinkles were smoothed out, it could hold a basketball. Pretty insane if you ask me.
30. Similarly, the skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.
31. An African ostrich egg weighs almost 30 pounds and is so strong that a 200-pound man can stand on it without it breaking
32. 'Alien Hand Syndrome' is a real neurological disorder in which the sufferer’s hand seems to take on a mind of its own due to the damage in the medial motor frontal region of the brain and often occurs after a brain surgery, a stroke or an infection of the brain.
So go impress a boy/girl/tranny with your knowledge of useless information and I guarantee it will incite more conversation than whatever you'd plan on saying otherwise.
Who wants to bet I forget 31 of these facts within an hour?
