Diaries of Misfortune

Apparently when I said "once weekly" I meant once monthly. In any event, get a load of this one:
This morning I decided I was going in late to work because honestly, who is going to notice? Well..besides my bosses who happen to be the CEO and COO, but other than that I mean WTF I work everyday, what's ten minutes, right?

Well...I get to my office and lo and behold the line for the parking garage is obscene because as usual, only one entrance is working. So I inch my way along until it's my turn to enter, I wave my pass..one time, two times...five times..six times until I am basically holding it against the censor only for it to blink red then green quickly then back to red, but no open gate. Cool. So while I have about 15 cars lined up behind mine and around the corner I get out of my car and shrug my shoulders rather emphatically to the 3 or so cars behind me. I receive several angry honks back, so I motion for them to reverse to let me out....no dice. Finally the way-too-eager-to-get-to-work woman behind me backs away to let me out. Mortified, I get back in my car and back out of the parking garage entrance and pull away slowly to see if the stupid lever is broken or if I am just special-ed.

Alas, everyone else enters no problem. So I pull around to the garage office, at this point I am running on 30 minutes late to work mind you, I throw my car next to the curb and go see what's going on. They tell me all is well in cyberspace and my card should work fine blah blah blah. So I go back to my car after warning them the raucous I just caused trying to enter, and start my car. Except..it doesn't start. Ok, turn the key harder..nope. Click click DEAD.

Sweet. So I go back to the office garage for some cables and thank god, they were able to send out the maintenance guy to jump it. That worked surprisingly well and I sauntered into work sunglasses on circa 10 am, with a meeting that I am completely and embarrassingly unprepared for in 30 minutes. It's fine. Happy Thursday to me.

Seriously.

Just really had to share this link:

Why Not Now?

Read that article then do what it says. I swear it's about me.

Diaries of Misfortune

Ever feel like things couldn't possibly get any worse? Well, usually they can but lucky for us they normally don't.

Once weekly I'll post a new misfortunate incident in the life of yours truly. A personal, weekly 'fml' anecdotal musing of sorts.  I promise you'll laugh and I promise it'll make your own unlucky episodes sting just a little, eensy-weensy, iota of a tiny bit less.

Today's phenomenon played out on this beautiful Monday morning before Christmas as follows:

1. Wake up late at 7:10 am, must leave house by 8 am for way, way, way (multiple years) long overdue dermatologist appointment
2. Shower like a 6 year old boy afraid of water, throw together a pathetic excuse of an outfit that I justify as work appropriate by adding 5 inch beige wedge heels, wolf down a yogurt and race out the door at 8:10 am, leaving 10 minutes for what is at least a 20 minute drive
3. Get the bird from man in Toyota Highlander because he's driving like a sissy and I let him know it
4. Call derm. office to let them know I'm running late, be there ....5ish minutes late. Response: "Show up more than 15 minutes late and the doc won't see you."
5. Start driving erratically
6. Pass cars on the highway, honk at anyone driving the speed limit and dodge pedestrians...eventually play chicken driving into oncoming traffic at 8:30 am to pass the slowpokes.
7. Pull into parking lot at 8:32- throw money at parking attendant and hoof it inside.
8. Frantically sign forms at reception and remind them I'm ON THE CUSP OF MISSING MY APPOINTMENT
9. Waltz in at 8:35 - doc sees me and puts a shot in my neck. Off to work we go.
10. Get awfully huge, impossible 1 person project assigned to me. Saweet.
11. Run to Post Office to pick up Customs Tags for the stupid gifts for the rich people that come to the office and act like everytime they meet me it's the first time...it starts to snow. My sinus infections worsens.
12. Back to work - sit at desk alone in the abyss of an office that I am now stuck in, devoid of interaction for the next 6 hours.
13.  Receive a call at 4:45 about the technical requirements for an 8 am meeting tomorrow- contact IT, they go home at 5...attempt to test myself.
14. Pack up laptop in frenzied rush, throw on coat and race to car at 5:15 so as not to miss (for the 2nd time) my 6 pm dentist appt.
15. It's snowing for the first time. A lot.
16. Hit every red light, traffic is backed up twice as bad as usual
17. Sit in traffic 40 minutes longer than it takes to get home - call dentist to say I'm late
18. Get to dentist, circle block for 5 minutes to find parking - throw car into spot, hobble out in 5 inch wedge heels and shuffle uphill through snow to dentist office.
19. Get in, apologize profusely to the dentist and the assistant - sit in...the chair.
20. Dentist suggests he do the filling of the right tooth, I insist he do the left- the one that the filling I received last year has extracted itself from its place inside my mouth and formed a cavity underneath what was already there. Please? He puts anesthetic on the left side. I win.
21. Dentist says "hm, welp - insurance won't cover that side." umm. what?
22. I argue. Dentist goes to his computer only to confirm that insurance won't cover it. I argue. I lose.
23. Dentist inject right side with 2 shots of novacaine. The drilling begins. I drool from both sides.
24. Finish the festivities at the dentist, decide to go to Rite Aid for Holiday wrapping paper.
25. Go inside, waste 25 minutes choosing the perfect wrapping paper design..pay, leave. Still snowing.
26. Get hit by pole-- yea, the pole hit me...because of oversized Jeep Cherokee's pathetic excuse at a parking job forcing me to execute 13 point turn. Another fail.
27. Go home and continue to drool on myself/bitch about the irony of my life.

What.a.bitchfest.

Apparently I needed to vent -- thanks for sticking with me. Next one will be a bit less....self-serving.

Painting the Canvas

Being a young adult in the States is a funny thing - there's a plan for you: you do what you're told, follow the rules, go to school to "fulfill your true potential,"you  follow your dreams upon graduation (which are inevitably always tainted by the shadow of your parents' dreams for you to be rich aka happy) and you live your young adulthood in a whirlwind of opportunity - with every resource at your disposal to build your American dream and stash money away while enjoying the remaining years of your youth.

Unfortunately, that isn't reality. ? In reality, you spend the better part of your college years learning how to party to the point of excess, you hit senior year (for some it's mid-Junior year and if you're anything like me it's senior year of high school) and realize you're about to be carelessly tossed into the beast that of society with barely a direction but knowing that you're about to embark on your career- a commitment that's intended to last about 40 or so years, no big deal. This is not just the society you've always lived in either - this one has expectations of you as a young college-educated youth, you know... responsible for the future of our country and stuff. So you're burdened with student loan debt, you have a degree that you barely know what to do with, you need money and end up desperately applying to any and every job you can find and then BAM! soon enough you're a drone. You're working 9 to 5 and making someone else rich. You're at a desk, and you're working through lunch and you're in early and you're out late and you do the same thing day after day after day after day. It's how it unfolds 9 times out of 10-- I did it. I followed the rules... I went by the plan, the one that practically came with a guarantee stamp of wealth and success and the brightest future possible, and so did all of my friends (or most of them, anyways).

But I am pretty positive that I'm not wealthy right now. Successful? To some, yes. But not by my definition of success. It took me a few years and a whole lot of long, stressful days at work to really figure out what that meant for me.

What if that whole  plan, the whole shtick about school and choosing a career and essentially forming your destiny, what if it was ALL wrong? Doesn't that societal pressure, on your parents and therefore on you, to be wealthy and successful predispose you to choosing a particular path? To following a certain "destiny" based on what other people always told you would make you happy? It's kind of a load of crap. Don't get me wrong, I'll be the first one to say that college is a great investment, but I certainly think the system needs to be reworked. I don't think 4 years at a desk, writing papers on a laptop and doing math equations out of a book, really prepare you to make the decision of what you SHOULD do for the rest of your life. Does it allow you to make a decision on what you COULD do? Of course! But maybe it's also stifling all of our true potentials at the same time.

When I was young we took a career aptitude test-- maybe 5th grade or so, when you're still so young you can be anything when you grow up! The test essentially measured your interests and hobbies (which at 10 years old mine definitely included drawing and stuffed animals) with some intelligence questions sprinkled in along with a basic skill assessment. Well, way back then my career aptitude test told me I should be a farmer.

Yep...a farmer. 

Now, I'm certainly not a farmer nor am I aspiring to be one, but I'm also not the type of person to sit myself at a desk for 10 hours a day destroying my retinas staring at a computer screen with little to no interpersonal contact and stressing out over someone else's success. I love being outside, it's one of my absolute favorite things in the world and I think if I could work outside, at least for a good chunk of my day, I'd be a pretty happy camper. So how'd I end up at a desk...and how come nothing ever came of that aptitude test? About a year ago I took another skills assessment test through the University I graduated from- want to know what that test told me I should pursue for a career? Sales.

Oh and I should mention I went to a business school.

So you tell me, how is one person prone to a career in sales AND farming? I'm not quite sure but I have a feeling it has to do with that plan-- the one everyone else feels so entitled to make for us.

What was your 5th grade destiny?

To the Max

How to be Present, Here and Now

Read this post. I promise, it's one of the most important things I could ever preach to anyone -- because it's something I think about every.single.day. Given my impatience at taking my life by the horns, this piece really epitomizes my M.O., which is to constantly strive to LIVE. Not just exist, but really be present in your life, actively engaged in every movement, every glance, every word, every thought. It's hard to maintain that mentality, but I truly believe that the better you become at being present (that doesn't include checking email during a conversation with a friend, zoning out to the TV for a span of an hour or two, updating Facebook statuses and spying on your friends...) but really realizing what is happening right now - what the world is around you at this moment, and savoring that very second. This isn't to say that everyone doesn't need a mental break, trust me, a few times a day I do zone out. But that's precisely the thing I'm trying to run from -- the corporate machine that forces your life to fit into a neat little box that consists of the same routines over and over and dealing with the same issues and never feeling compensated for your time and effort and never feeling appreciated or truly fulfilled with your contribution to society -- that's not just me, that's business.

Check out this article --it definitely reminded me of the little things that can make the aggravations of a day melt away if you just pay attention to them.